Album Review:

Yep, you read the title right. By late 1965, the Beach Party craze should’ve been well over. Nevertheless, AIP executives continued to stretch the formula thin, as substantiated in this soundtrack. The film How to Stuff a Wild Bikini came out in 1965 and starred Annette Funicello, who had appeared in the previous Beach Party features.

Derisorily credited to the Wild Bikini Chorus, the first two tracks of this album are almost unbearable to listen to. Combing the worst parts of 60s television show themes and Pickwick children’s records, ‘How to Stuff A Wild Bikini’ and ‘That’s What I Call A Healthy Girl’ should’ve been left on the cutting room floor. Lou Ann Sims treats the placid ‘If It’s Gonna Happen’ in her best Annette Funicello fashion, though the material is severely lacking in substance. The upbeat ‘How About Us?’ is credited to ex-child star Mickey Rooney though his actual contributions are minimal. Another Bikini Chorus number, the mellow ‘After the Party’ is sung much in the style of Henry Mancini’s movie themes (think ‘Dear Heart’ or ‘Sweetheart Tree’). Annette Funicello handles ‘Better Be Ready’ well, easily making it the album’s only highlight. The maniacal ‘Follow the Leader’ (the same composition as ‘I Am My Ideal’ from the Donna Loren Bikini Beach album) is credited to Harvey Lembeck - an unfamiliar name for good reason. ‘The Perfect Boy’ would be an otherwise hopelessly forgettable exercise if it weren’t for the little bit of life Mrs. Funicello breaths into it. With all songs from the movie depleted, the remaining space is filled by the Kingsmen. This consists of the Isley-Brothers inspired ‘Give Her Lovin’ and a lackluster performance of the album’s title number.
 
Neither this film nor the soundtrack has aged particularly well, and in 2022, most of these songs are far too sexist and creepy to be enjoyable. Nevertheless, the ever-dependable Annette Funicello tracks are the best of the lot.